Articles

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  • Grieving What Never Was

    Grieving What Never Was   By John T. Schwiebert, MDivjohn@tearsoup.com      “Better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.”  This aphorism has proved helpful to many who have experienced the loss of a marriage partner or other beloved companion.  It encourages the surviving partner to balance a keen awareness of what they have lost through death, and even divorce, with appreciation of all that they have received through the relationship with the one who is...

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  • Grieving the Loss of Democracy

    Grieving the Loss of Democracy   By John T. Schwiebert, MDivjohn@metanoiaumc.org     Most of us, when we speak of grief, usually think first of the loss that we experiences when a beloved human being or pet dies.  But grief is also the normal response to any kind of loss, including (1) the loss of a something good that once was and is no more, or (2) the loss of something longed for but never realized. For some time I have...

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  • Grieving the Loss of Certainty

    Grieving the Loss of Certainty   By John T. Schwiebert, MDivjohn@metanoiaumc.org     I’ve been thinking about the grief faced by the relatives and friends of the persons on the Malaysian Airline Flight that has been missing now for several weeks.  It occurs to me that their grief is complicated because they must deal with several real and/or potential losses at the same time.  They may or may not be experiencing anticipatory grief over the loss that bears the name “death,”...

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  • Grieving Parents Seek Answers

    Grieving Parents Seek Answers   By Rev. John T. Schwiebert   Recently I received a letter from a man whose son completed suicide some 20 years ago. He was trying to reconcile two conflicting messages he had received from the leaders of his church. On the one hand he was assured that God loved his son; on the other hand it was obvious that many of his fellow church members believed that his son was burning in hell because of...

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  • Grieving for What We Have Never Known

    Grieving for What We Have Never Known   By Rev John T. Schwiebert, ThMjohn@metanoiaumc.org     As you may know, Grief Watch takes its name from a story found in the Bible (Matthew  25: 36-46) in which Jesus says to three of his closest disciples, “I am deeply grieved, even to death; remain here and watch (i.e. stay awake) with me.”  Like us, Jesus needs his friends to be a quiet, attentive presence with him as he faces a grief...

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  • Grieving for Mom on My Birthday

    Grieving for Mom on My Birthday   by Alisha KrukowskiReprinted with permission from HelloGriefhttp://www.hellogrief.org/thinking-of-mom-on-my-birthday/   October 6th marked the 33nd anniversary of the day my mom saw the culmination of 9 months of waiting and hoping and sore feet and food cravings.  Funny how I never thought of it like that until just now. I’ve spent my whole life celebrating my birthday with cake and presents, and hopeful anticipation about which friends will remember, sing to me, or send me a card. ...

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  • Grieving During the Holidays

    Grieving During the Holidays   By Pat Schwiebert, R.N.pat@tearsoup.com     It’s holiday time again.  Comes around every year.  Same time. Same weather.  Same smells.  Same decorations.  Same people.  Same music.   Same food. Same expectations.  It’s in our cells.  We’ve grown up with it.  We pass it on to our kids as if it were part of our DNA… We look forward to it.  And we look forward to it being over.  So if everything’s the same, why does it...

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  • Grieving By Choice

    Grieving By Choice   By John T. Schwiebert, MDivjohn@tearsoup.com     Given the emotional and even physical pain that is a part of the grief experience, it is hard to imagine that anyone would actually choose circumstances that would guarantee to bring about loss and therefore grief.  Yet sometimes grieving by choice is inevitable. I began thinking about this recently when, in our Peace House morning prayer time, we read the famous story that appears in the Gospel of Mark, beginning...

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  • Grieving as Though Not Grieving

    Grieving as Though Not Grieving   By John T. Schwiebert, ThMjohn@tearsoup.com     “[Let] those who mourn [be] as though they were not mourning . . .” --1 Corinthians 7:30   For the past 27 years I have been part of a group of 10 to 15 people who gather every weekday morning at 7:20 to sing, pray and reflect on how God speaks to us through a selected reading from the Bible. Ever since I agreed to write an article...

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  • Grief Triggers

    Grief Triggers   By Pat Schwiebert, R.N.pat@tearsoup.com   I have always found “triggers” to be a difficult part of grieving.  Do you know what I mean?  I’m thinking about the little reminders that in an instant put you into a deep grieving space where you are distracted from what you were doing and suddenly find yourself in that abyss where nothing else matters but your pain. Get used to it. Triggers are capable of ambushing you without your consent and...

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  • Grief Needs a Face

    Grief Needs a Face   By Pat Schwiebert, R.N.Pat@tearsoup.com    For some people that comes naturally; for others, especially in situations of grief, the desire is to hide away. Being isolated during this difficult time may actually make things harder. However, this is not to suggest that does you should have people around you all the time, since being alone is equally important in your grief.  It is helpful to consider finding a balance. You need someone else who will...

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  • Grief is Like

    Grief is Like   By Pat Schwiebert, R.N.Pat@tearsoup.com    One of the difficulties bereaved persons face is how to explain to us how they FEEL when they are grieving. What does it FEEL like to be in the skin of a bereaved person? Is it similar to other experiences in our life? Is there a way we can relate on some level to the pain of grieving persons when we are not grieving ourselves.  Most people can’t allow themselves to...

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