Articles

by Maria Kubitzhttps://www.aliveinmemory.org   On September 30, it will be ten years since you died. Ten years isn’t very long in the grand scheme of things. But considering you died at the tender age of four, it feels like so much more. Memories of you have already begun to fade. Evidence of your very existence is far and few between. Clothes you wore, things you cherished, and art you created all fit into a few small bins. Bins that have...

Change   By Pat Schwiebert, R.N.pat@tearsoup.com   My neighbor was delighted in her new life after her husband of 55 years died.  I was a bit surprised.  Most people don’t respond in that way.  It always seemed this lovely pair were joined at the hip and enjoyed each other’s company more than anyone else’s.  She didn’t like it when friends tried to tell her how hard it was going to be for her to live without her mate.  She thought...

Bits of Crazy   By Donna Rothert, PhDhttp://seeingthestrals.com/     Grief seems at first to destroy not just all patterns, but also to destroy a belief that a pattern exists.  –Julian Barnes It’s so curious: one can resist tears and ‘behave’ very well in the hardest hours of grief. But then someone makes you a friendly sign behind a window, or one notices that a flower that was in bud only yesterday has suddenly blossomed, or a letter slips from...

Are You Ready?   By Pat Schwiebert, R.N.pat@tearsoup.com     Life was going along just fine.  There were the usual bumps in the road that one can expect from being in life, but nothing catastrophic.  Lots to keep me busy.  Events to prepare for.   Meals to plan.  Support groups to facilitate.  Grandkids to corral.  Meetings to attend.  Then my right hand helper and close friend Tom suddenly has major arrhythmia issues that put him in the hospital.  The same week...

A Lesson in Dying   By Pat Schwiebert, R.N.pat@tearsoup.com     My friend died last week.  59 years old is too young to die.  Not being able to see her almost-13-year-old son grow up is also unfair.  But she died anyway.  There was no stopping death.   She had held ovarian cancer at bay for five years with chemotherapy, radiation, meditation and by becoming friends with what some call the enemy. There had been a sigh of relief when the doctors...

48-Hour Grief   By John T. Schwiebert, MDivjohn@tearsoup.com     The personal grief that gets the most attention is usually connected to the most profound losses that human beings can experience: the death of one’s child or one’s spouse, for example. Grief in such cases takes a great deal of emotional energy especially in the early weeks and months.  It also takes forever, it seems, to get through it.  For one “making tear soup” in such cases the largest pot is...