Articles

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  • About Being a Man in our Culture

    About Being a Man in our Culture    By Pat Schwiebert, R.N.pat@tearsoup.com   People grieve in very different ways – even two parents who grieve the death of the same child.  How people grieve is affected by age, previous life experiences, personality, culture, gender, and by whatever else may be happening in their lives at the time of the loss.  As a father, your experience of grief is probably going to differ from that of your partner simply because you...

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  • A Time to Grieve

    A Time to Grieve   By John T. Schwiebert, ThMjohn@tearsoup.com     “For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven . . .A time to weep and a time to laugh; a time to mourn and a time to dance . . .” --Ecclesiastes 3:1,4   These familiar words of scripture are traditionally read in many churches that gather for worship on New Year’s Day.  These words invite us to reflect about our lives as...

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  • A Thanksgiving Grief Activity for Kids (and grown-ups)

    A Thanksgiving Grief Activity for Kids (and grown-ups)   By Litsa Elizabeth Williamswww.whatsyourgrief.com     The holidays are tough after a death.  There are no two ways about it.  They are tough for grieving adults.  They are tough for grieving kids.  They are especially tough for grieving adults supporting grieving kids.  We have tons of ideas here for remembering deceased loved ones at the holidays.  We have suggestions for creating a practical plan for coping with the holidays.  We have a post on making sense...

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  • A Remedy for the Holidays

    A Remedy for the Holidays   By Rev John T. Schwiebert, ThMjohn@metanoiaumc.org     The winter holidays are a difficult time for many who are grieving because of personal loss.  It is hard to sing “Joy to the World” when you are experiencing deep pain and unmitigated sorrow.  Phrases like “God rest ye merry gentlemen, let nothing you dismay” are sung lustily by friends and strangers who are scarcely aware of how cruel such words must sound to those who...

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  • A Promise

    A Promise By Natalie Mitchell natdmitch@dsl-only.net       An expected beautiful moment, an American dream of all that the commercials and magazine ads ever promised to a woman, was stolen in the night. The promise of the expected moment was of freshness, closeness, comfort and love. Filled with precious, flowing, maternal love. The kind of promise that an entire life could be planned upon In the small sterile room the crisp air of shock was suffocating. It was an early...

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  • A Lesson in Dying

    A Lesson in Dying   By Pat Schwiebert, R.N.pat@tearsoup.com     My friend died last week.  59 years old is too young to die.  Not being able to see her almost-13-year-old son grow up is also unfair.  But she died anyway.  There was no stopping death.   She had held ovarian cancer at bay for five years with chemotherapy, radiation, meditation and by becoming friends with what some call the enemy. There had been a sigh of relief when the doctors...

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  • A day for mom....except this one

    A day for mom....except this one   Borrowed from Nine Months and still Countinghttp://ninemonthsandcounting.typepad.com Finally today is drawing to an end. I got through it, but barely. The one thing that became obvious to me today was that I'm missing out on so many things. My morning started fine. I was headed to the store to get some things for brunch as I was having my family over. That peaceful day I was hoping for came to an end when...

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  • 8 ways to forgive yourself

    8 ways to forgive yourself and let go of your past     By Kimberly Gileshttp://coachkimgiles.weebly.com/   Question:I enjoyed your articles about forgiving other people, but how do you forgive yourself and move on when you have made many mistakes? That is what I struggle with.Answer:You are not alone. Most of us hold on to past mistakes and let them affect our self-esteem for way too long. This is not healthy and does not serve anyone. Here are eight suggestions...

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  • 6 Things to Never Say to a Bereaved Parent

    6 Things to Never Say to a Bereaved Parent   By Angela Millerwww.abedformyheart.com     If you’re a bereaved parent, you can probably count on at least five hands the number of phrases you wish people would never, ever say to you. If only there was a way for the world to learn how to speak compassionately to the brokenhearted. What many people believe is a comforting statement, most often is not. It usually feels more like a slap in...

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  • 48-Hour Grief

    48-Hour Grief   By John T. Schwiebert, MDivjohn@tearsoup.com     The personal grief that gets the most attention is usually connected to the most profound losses that human beings can experience: the death of one’s child or one’s spouse, for example. Grief in such cases takes a great deal of emotional energy especially in the early weeks and months.  It also takes forever, it seems, to get through it.  For one “making tear soup” in such cases the largest pot is...

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  • (Mother's) Day

    (Mother's) Day      .     Where I had imagined breakfast in bed, I found only tears on my pillow. Where I had imagined flowers and a card, I found only flowers on her grave. Where I had imagined a home of happy chaos and noise, I found only weeping through silence. Where I had imagined my child at my chest, I found only emptiness and aching. Where I had imagined Motherhood celebrated, I found only another painful reminder...

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