Articles

The Book of Job: A Three Thousand-Year-Old Story of Grief   By Rev John T. Schwiebert, MDivjohn@metanoiaumc.org   Part Two: Miserable Comforters     Fortunate is the bereaved person who has genuine friends—loyal companions whose steady, caring presence helps sustain them through prolonged periods of grief. Unfortunately such companions are rare.  And sometimes the pain of a personal loss is complicated by a further loss—the sudden or gradual fading of friendships when “friends,” for a variety of reasons, cannot deal with...

The Book of Job: A Three Thousand-Year-Old Story of Grief   By Rev John T. Schwiebert, MDivjohn@metanoiaumc.org   Part Three: "Am I Going Crazy?"    In my previous reflection on the grief of the Biblical character named Job (the second in a series), I spoke of the problems that friends can bring to the grieving process. Using examples from Job’s story, I observed that sometimes the pain of a personal loss is complicated by a further loss—the sudden or gradual...

The Book of Job: A Three Thousand-Year-Old Story of Grief   By Rev John T. Schwiebert, MDivjohn@metanoiaumc.org   Part One: Getting into the Story (see Job 1:1 to 2:9)  Following up on my promise in the May 2012 Newsletter, I present here the first installment in a series of reflections on the grief experienced by a man named job in the book in the Hebrew Bible that bears his name. We begin by acknowledging that the book of Job is...

The Book of Job: A Three Thousand-Year-Old Story of Grief   By Rev John T. Schwiebert, MDivjohn@metanoiaumc.org   Part Four: "Personal Doubts and Questions"    Last month in part 3 of this series,* we looked at how Job resists the unhelpful suggestion of his friends that he must bear the blame for his loss—that his bereavement must be a punishment for, or at least a consequence of, some un-confessed sin. But Job insists, quite rightly, that in fact he himself...

The Book of Job: A Three Thousand-Year-Old Story of Grief   By Rev John T. Schwiebert, MDivjohn@metanoiaumc.org   Part Five: "Is There Life After Grief?"    In our experience of working with people who have faced extreme loss, many have eventually been able to answer the above question with a resounding “yes!”  And they have been able to do so without in anyway dismissing or minimizing the prolonged pain they went through before they got to the place where happiness...

That Don't Look Like Grandma   By Sandy Goodman   When I was asked to compose an article about kids and grief, my pompous ego spoke up instantly with You can’t. Never one to argue with that soft, still voice in my head, I readily agreed that I couldn’t. After all, I usually only write about what I myself have experienced, and small children were never a part of my grieving. Jeremy was 22 when Jason died and Joshua was...

Teenagers and Loss   By Rev John T. Schwiebert, MDivjohn@metanoiaumc.org     I recently received an email communication from a high school student that read: I am currently working on a project about how the death of a peer affects teens. I would really appreciate your feedback on this project. Some questions I have for you are: how does losing a friend affect a teen’s views on religion? Do these effects vary noticeably in teenagers of different religions? Does the...

Strength Found in Solitude   By Pat Schwiebert, R.N.pat@tearsoup.com     As another Father’s day approaches I think back and remember the amazing parade of men that I have observed over the past 40 years in our support groups for bereaved parents.  The assumption of many was that men would not want to take advantage of this type of support—that it would be way out of their comfort zone.  My experience over the past 40 years of facilitating support groups...

Stop Crying   By Pat Schwiebert, R.N. pat@tearsoup.com   As we were out walking in the woods near her home, she said, “Wait till you see this sign.”  At that point we were at the bottom of a very steep climb to the top of the path. The tall trees protected us from the sun.  It was like we were in a timeless protected space.  No noise.  No reminders of the world we came from.   Just as we were...

Sometimes...   By Pat Schwiebert, R.N.pat@tearsoup.com   If anyone told you, or you assumed that grief is predictable, rational, or of short duration, you now know you were misinformed. In the course of your own grief you will experience feelings of ambivalence and anger, of total exhaustion and of wanting to do anything possible to change the outcome. One minute you may feel like taking a vacation hoping this will help you forget the loss and escape the pain; the...

So What Does a New Year Mean?   By Pat Schwiebert, R.N.pat@tearsoup.com   In simplistic terms when life was uncomplicated by grief it meant starting over…a clean slate…making resolutions to clean up our act.  Some of us like the feeling of getting a fresh start and forgetting the past. We like believing that, during this next year, things will be better. But when we are grieving, our tendency is to stand at the threshold of a new year looking back...

Small Things   By Jan Warnereyeseepic@aol.comStop Thief: Don’t Steal My Griefwww.griefspeaksout.com   This morning I went to fold some sheets and missed the other pair of hands to hold the other end and help me.I watched what turned out to be the last episode of one the TV shows Artie and I liked to watch together.  After the characters/actors said goodbye - it was another loss.  A teeny tiny one.Am getting nervous about the show.  Nothing special about that.  Went...