Articles

What Grieving Moms Want for Mother's Day: 10 Simple Ways to help Moms Cope When Mother's Day Hurts   Reprinted from www.thecomfortcompany.net Acknowledgement is what grieving mother's want most for Mother's Day, suggests a survey by www.thecomfortcompany.net, a website that specializes in meaningful sympathy gifts. The online survey asked “What can others do to ease your pain on Mother's Day”. Over 80 percent of the 200 respondents answered, "Recognize that I am a mother".  “While Mother's Day is generally considered to be...

We Are All So Different   By Pat Schwiebert, R.N.pat@tearsoup.com     Last week a friend decided to stop cancer treatment and go on hospice.  Not everyone thought it was a good decision.  Some, who were also undergoing chemotherapy couldn’t imagine making that choice.  Some thought she was being selfish and not thinking of her family.  Others thought that she was being generous in not wanting to be any more of a burden on her pregnant daughter than necessary.  It...

Up   By John T. Schwiebert, MDivjohn@tearsoup.com      “Up,” the 2009 animated film from Walt Disney/Pixar studios, can be appreciated for many reasons, one being its portrayal of the realities of human grief.  I recommend it, especially for those who have lost a family member to death. As the movie opens we meet Carl Fredricksen, an adventurous boy who quickly becomes fast friends with Ellie, a young girl who shares his adventurous spirit.  Childhood sweethearts, they eventually marry.  Their dreams...

Tough Mothers   By John T. Schwiebert, ThMjohn@tearsoup.com     “ . . . and a sword will pierce your own soul also”  --Luke 2:35 In Luke’s story of Jesus, the above words are spoken by a wise old man named Simeon to Mary, as he holds the infant Jesus—Mary’s first-born child—in his arms.  Luke seems to be offering a clue that Mary will one day suffer deep grief because of the violent death of her offspring. The piercing of a...

To Be Known   By Pat Schwiebert, R.N.pat@tearsoup.com     Art was a quiet man.  I knew him for 25 years.  He never had much to say.  He always sat in the same pew at church and had the best attendance on record.  He always sang the loudest.  He never drew attention to himself (except for maybe when he sang), and he never needed to be the center of attention.  He knew our names and he always seemed glad to...

They Knew Them Already    By Pat Schwiebert, R.N.pat@tearsoup.com   They were young and innocent.  That was then.  This is now.  In a blink of an eye, a solitary moment, their lives were changed.  Their baby died.  Their baby was wanted, loved, and now missed.  From a young age they had been told life is unfair.  Talking about it is an intellectual experience.  Now they have to live it. Back in the 70’s when we medical professionals were being urged...

The Perfect Heart   Author Unknown    One day a young man was standing in the middle of the town proclaimingthat he had the most beautiful heart in the whole valley. A large crowdgathered and they all admired his heart for it was perfect. There wasnot a mark or a flaw in it. Yes, they all agreed it truly was the mostbeautiful heart they had ever seen. The young man was very proud andboasted more loudly about his beautiful heart.Suddenly,...

The Others   By Thom Hogan   A teardrop fell in the forest today.Where it fell the parents know the way. The pain of grief to the mothers,Is a pain that is unknown to the others. And a father’s grief,To the others is brief. Sadness is no good the others will say.Move on, let go, tomorrow is another day. Life is too short to linger in pain.But our lives will stop again and again. A teardrop fell in the forest...

The Other Side Loss   By John T. Schwiebert, ThMjohn@tearsoup.com      Dare we speak of any personal loss that we experience as also having a positive aspect?  I almost don’t want to ask this question because I am fully aware how hurtful it can be when friends try to comfort those who are grieving by diminishing the severity of their loss. How often the grieving person has heard words like these, after the death of a loved one. “She’s in...

The Loss of My Child   By Bernd Coxwegerbc1_@hotmail.com     My loss occurred on December 9th, 2001. My wife was 22 weeks and a couple days into her pregnancy. We were both starting to get excited. Doing the usual things, that most pregnant couples do.  We had to go a different route. We had to go to a Fertilization Doctor. It’s ok. They understand the grief and hardship that women go through, or that couples go through. It’s hard...

The Holidays, How We Survived     By Bart SumnerHealing-improv.org               We all know that the holidays create stress and expectations that can often make the family visits and busy schedules seem more painful than festive, but after the death of a close family member, the holidays become more of a challenge than ever. In our case, losing our 10 year-old son David in the beginning of October 2009 poised a particularly difficult task. Halloween was coming, followed quickly by...

The Dragonfly Story   By Walter Dudley Cavert    “In the bottom of an old pond lived some grubs who could not understand why none of their group ever came back after crawling up the lily stems to the top of the water.  They promised each other that the next one who was called to make the upward climb would return and tell what had happened to him.  Soon one of them felt an urgent impulse to seek the surface;...