Articles

Sharing Your Story (Even When The World Won’t Listen)   By Angela Millerwww.abedformyheart.com     **I dedicate this article to my beautiful son, who taught me more about love and life than anyone ever has and ever will– and for every child in the world who has senselessly died by violence.  There are no words to describe the deep injustice that parents like us eternally suffer.  It is a torture like none other.  This is for every parent who feels...

Grief and Loss: Self Care       As we grieve it is important to remember to take care of ourselves.  Whether we are grieving the death of a loved one, the loss of a job, a serious illness, a friend that moved away, etc., we tend to take self care for granted when we are feeling sad.  Below are some suggestions from self care that were taken from the University of California San Diego's website.   Grief and Loss:...

Seasons of Grief   By Sandy Goodman   It is winter today. There is no sun, not even a flash of light to focus on. The air has become murky as if it has solidified, losing its clarity. Ice covers everything, smothering any life that might have been.  Staring out my window, I compare the bite of winter to my grief: the coldness, the shadows, and my reluctance to breathe in any more discomfort. Grief, like winter, appears uninvited and...

Rituals    By Pat Schwiebert, R.N.pat@tearsoup.com   There is nothing new or unusual about performing rituals.  We’ve been engaging in rituals all of our lives, often without even thinking about what we are doing or why.  We just do them because we’ve always done them, or because we would feel off balance if we didn’t.  They bring meaning to our lives in very subtle, yet profound ways.  Putting a hand over your heart when a flag goes by in a...

Riding the Grief Train   By Jan Warnereyeseepic@aol.comStop Thief: Don’t Steal My Griefwww.griefspeaksout.com   A little metaphor I wrote for a friend and wanted to share with all of you.  When the grief train pulled into my station I got on and found a comfortable seat to snuggle into.  I watched the world go by and was quite content in my unhappiness.  Then I saw that other people were getting off the grief train.  Some of them I never saw...

Reflections on Your Birthday   By Pat Schwiebert, R.N.pat@tearsoup.com     Hi, Mom.  I’m writing this on your birthday.  You’d be 90 years old today had you not died 1 ½ years ago.  Those who know me remember how I struggled with our relationship.  There were times I thought it would best if neither of us lived one more day.  I couldn’t bear the pain you were causing me and I didn’t like it that I couldn’t fix your vengeful...

Reading Lamentations in Times of Grief   By Rev John T. Schwiebert, ThMjohn@metanoiaumc.org     Earlier this summer I suggested in this newsletter that persons who are grieving a significant loss might benefit from reading the Psalms in the Hebrew Bible/Old Testament.  This is because the writer(s) of the Psalms know how to grieve honestly, without holding back feelings of anger, frustration, pain, and even honest doubts about the goodness of God.                 ...

Passages   By Bella   Passages are noble entrances that pull us forth to places we sometimes don’t dare to go. We believe the door should be vibrant but understand… It is the dark passages that make us grow if all of our paths were kind and beautiful the heart could never weep tears into the soul. and, therefore, the ground we boldly stand upon would always be shallow. Instead of the rainbow God shows trinkets are often treasures buried...

One Less Second Grader     By Angela Millerhttp://stillstandingmag.com/2014/08/one-less-second-grader/   Signs of back to school are everywhere. For some parents it might be a relief. Summer is over, and the school schedule is a welcome change. For bereaved parents, signs of torture are everywhere. Over-sized backpacks, school supplies, car drop off and pick up lines. It’s a sucker punch to the gut. Everywhere you look there are painful reminders of what you’re missing. Reminders of what could have, should have...

By Pat Schwiebert, R.N.pat@tearsoup.com     A father in our infant loss support group spoke of his baby’s name and how glad he was that they had named her Olive.  It was a name that was connected with the past in their family, but it became more than that for him in his grief journey.  He found great pleasure in being reminded of his daughter as he cooked with olive oil, or saw a bowl of olives on the Thanksgiving...

OCCUPY GRIEF   By John T. Schwiebert,  MDivjohn@metanoiaumc.org   oc-cu-py    1.to take possession of by settlement or seizure  2. to hold possession of by tenure; specif.,  a)   to dwell in   b) to hold (a position or office)   3.  to take up or fill up (space time, etc.)  4. to employ, busy, or engage (oneself, one’s attention, mind, etc.)                                                               --Webster’s New World Dictionary, Second College Edition   With spontaneous social movements around the U.S. and elsewhere giving new currency to...

Not so fast… thank you   By Pat Schwiebert, R.N.pat@tearsoup.com     The idea of starting over, of letting go, of embracing new beginnings seems harsh and unfair.  It’s easy advice, and it seems like good advice to those who are suggesting it.  Not so much for the persons to whom the advice is offered.  Letting go feels like betrayal or abandonment if one is not ready for distance.  I talked with a friend the other day, remembering 25 years...