Articles

by Maria Kubitzhttps://www.aliveinmemory.org   On September 30, it will be ten years since you died. Ten years isn’t very long in the grand scheme of things. But considering you died at the tender age of four, it feels like so much more. Memories of you have already begun to fade. Evidence of your very existence is far and few between. Clothes you wore, things you cherished, and art you created all fit into a few small bins. Bins that have...

I Want You to Know Who I Am So many people pass through our lives throughout our lifetime.  Some barely register on our radar, others leave deep imprints upon our lives and hearts.  Only some make us feel like we are truly known, and allow us to know them as well.  But how much do we really need to know about someone to feel as though we know them? This month Pat shares with us her take on what it...

With Your Face to the Wind   By Pat Schwiebert, R.N.pat@tearsoup.com   There are times in your grief where you can do nothing but brace yourself against the storm of pain and bitterness.  You have just enough energy to survive the day and no more.  And then finally, as the storm begins to be more predictable or you’ve released yourself from the fear that it will consume you, you turn and face yourself into the wind.  You feel energized rather...

Why Umbrellas? By Valerie BosselmanPut Up Your Umbrellahttp://valeriebosselman.comhttp://valeriebosselman.com/why-umbrellas/   Put up your umbrella.  It all started with my first boyfriend, Greg Ptacek, in the city of perpetual rain – New Orleans.  I need to start by saying that Greg was (and is) the nicest guy.  To this day, I don’t remember if he broke up with me or I broke up with him.  If he broke up with me, it just goes to show that he was such a nice...

Why Every Girl Needs a Dog   By Maggiewww.ohmydogblog.com Have you seen the flood of campaigns designed, supposedly, to help young girls feel better about themselves? There’s the Dove Campaign for Real Beauty. There’s the fashion world’s inclusion of plus-sized models in London’s runway shows. Then there’s Tyra’s call for plus-sized teens to compete in a modeling competition. And so on.While these campaigns have their hearts in the right place, in my opinion, they fall so short that they are...

WHY By Pat Schwiebert, R.N.pat@tearsoup.com   A shooting occurred in Aurora, Colorado just two weeks ago.  And within the first hour of this horrific event people were asking “why?”  “Why did he do this terrible thing?” “Why did my friend die and not me?”  “Why didn’t the assassin get stopped before coming into the movie theatre?”  “Why did my son decide to sit in that row this very night instead of one he would normally choose?” As one who has...

Where the Soul Lives   by Marti Talbott   Thirty-six years ago, when I was carrying my first child, Doctors didn’t know as much as they do today about Eclampsia, a potentially deadly condition during pregnancy. By the time my Doctor discovered it, I was in my ninth month and gaining a pound a day. If he was alarmed it wasn’t apparent and when he casually suggested we induce labor, I was thrilled. Little did I know labor would take...

Where Is God In My Grief?   By John Schwiebert, MDiv  john@metanoiaumc.org “Where was God when my loved one died?”   “What was God thinking when the floods came and we lost everything we had?”   “My partner and I have been praying for a child for 10 years, so why hasn’t God answered our prayers?” It is neither unusual nor inappropriate for any of us to ask such questions during times of deep grief, even if we think of ourselves as...

When the Walls Come Down   By Pat Schwiebert, R.N.pat@tearsoup.com     My mother has been dead one year.  I’ve been waiting for the anniversary day to come wondering how I would feel. That day, Wednesday, August 28, 2013 is seared into my heart.  I can remember the tears and the laughter, the sounds and the smells, and the hilarious sidebars that only my mother could have conjured up so I wouldn’t forget this day. I’ve had anniversary reactions before. ...

When Grief during the Holidays is New By Pat Schwiebert, R.N. pat@tearsoup.com     As we officially enter the holiday season those who grieve enter into a quagmire of emotions. Is it okay to experience joy when your loved one is dead? Can you be grateful for the time you had with your loved one while being overwhelmed with missing that person? Will you give yourself permission to join in the festivities of the season or not gather with family...

When Comforters Talk Too Much!   By Rev John T. Schwiebert, ThMjohn@metanoiaumc.org     After the death of my Mother-in-law last month, as friends offered their condolences, I recalled the similar gestures from friends and acquaintances following the death of my own mother more than a decade ago.  I noticed a recurring theme in both situations. Many folks assumed that they understood what and how I was feeling about my loss. Some said as much:  “I know just how you...

What We Remember Lives On   By Pat Schwiebert, R.N.pat@tearsoup.com     She’s been dead 6 months and her 85th birthday was last week.  Most people don’t mention my mother’s name anymore.  I still bring her name up in conversation when something reminds me of her.  But otherwise my grief is mostly silent now.  I sit with her alone in my thoughts still trying to understand who she was.  More and more I remember sweet moments where she was like...