What Not to Say to a Grieving Person

Pat Schwiebert, RN
Grief Watch

What not to say to a grieving person

• Snap out of it
• It wasn’t meant to be
• You must be strong
• She lived a good life
• You must move on
• God will never give you more than you can handle
• I understand
• Be thankful you have other children
• It’s over with. Let’s not deal with it
• Get a hold of yourself
• Keep a stiff upper lip
• Pull yourself together
• Be strong for the children
• Get back on the horse again
• It was God’s will
• You can always have other children
• You’re young
• Maybe God is trying to teach you a lesson
• Others have it worse than you
• What did you do wrong?
• He wouldn’t have been healthy
• It is just nature’s way of dealing with a problem

Helpful things to say to a grieving person

• I’m so sorry to hear about your loss
• I can’t imagine what you are going through, it must be unbearable
• Sit down and tell me all about it
• I don’t know what to say, but I’ll be glad to listen
• How are you really feeling?
• What can I do to help?

(if you are caring for someone from a different culture ask “what would be happening if this happened…”)