August 29, 2001

August 29, 2001

By Karen Resnick

I enter the depths of my deepest sorrow
The place where my heart bleeds, empty and dry
Fill me with the love
        the warmth
            the fullness of knowing you are with me
               always…

How do I let go?
        Of my true love
My little light who grows so strong
        yet holding on by a thread
The thread that holds you to me and me to you.
Yet it is thinning.
        So fragile
           so weak
              so helpless and dependent on me
I am sorry that I can no longer nurture you and our relationship.
You need me
        I need you
            And to continue could cost us both our lives
You have come to me in strength
                   in question
                       in uncertainty

To teach me about:
        love and sorrow
            joy and peace
               grieving beyond belief
        And ultimately trust

Trust that I am whole-with or without you.
        Trust that I may connect with myself
           in relationship to the world in which I live
To breathe in life as it fills me
This is too surreal
How to grasp the present moment as life unfolds
As my choices get squashed into a corner of surrender
Tears please wash away my pain, my sorrow, my anguish
Turn me inside out, upside down, round and round and back again
        and pray I come out standing
How do I say goodbye to preconceived notions of my future?
            My life?