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by Kerry Phillipshttps://youngwidowedanddating.com I was standing in the kitchen in my condo when it happened. My sister-in-law was on the phone and we were talking about my husband – how his death was so sudden and had caught everyone off guard. I can’t recall exactly what was said, but before I knew it, I was laughing. It felt good to laugh after spending nearly a week completely numb. Numb from the pain of learning about his death while sitting in the...

Borrowed from hhrv.org   This time of year, we are inundated with suggestions for changes we can make to greatly improve our lives in the new year. New Year’s resolutions to improve our health and surroundings may be useful and even beneficial. However, if you are among those who have experienced the loss of a loved one during this past year, the typical sentiments may ring hollow for you as the calendar turns. (How can it possibly be so important to...

by Tim Nelson I co-lead a support group this past week at the hospital where Kathleen was born still 25-years ago. It's amazing how that pit in the stomach still recurs when I drive up to that building.Being in a room with newly bereaved parents for a couple of hours is always bittersweet. I feel like I can give them hope just by being present so many years after our loss and showing them that life does go on and,...

by Donna Rothert, PhD   “The human species thinks in metaphors and learns through stories.”  Mary Catherine Bateson “Have you watched that show?”  “The character had a miscarriage and her whole family reacted like it mattered.” “There was an article in the paper about someone who had a similar type of loss as mine– I’m glad that the topic is getting some attention.” “Reading that book was powerful— her story was different from mine but I had the same feelings she...

by Angela Miller.She didn’t need useless cliches or a string of empty words flung around her neck like a too-tight string of pearls that choked.She didn’t need illogical logic or to hear that “everything happens for a reason” because there was no reason good enough in heaven or earth worth the pain of losing her child.She didn’t need vile judgments or cruel accusations or raised brows implying that she clearly failed as a mother since she couldn’t keep her child...

by The Dougy Centerhttps://www.dougy.org/resource-articles/how-to-help-a-grieving-child-1 These lessons have been adapted from the book 35 Ways to Help a Grieving Child. To order a copy of the book, visit our online bookstore or contact The Dougy Center, 503-775-5683. answer the questions they ask. even the hard ones. Kids learn by asking questions. When they ask questions about a death, it’s usually a sign that they’re curious about something they don’t understand. As an adult, a couple of the most important things you can do for...

by Nancy Bernshttp://www.nancyberns.com Talking to children and teenagers about death and loss is hard. It can be difficult to know where to begin in offering help. As a starting point, I offer these ideas. Encourage them to remember at least these two things about grief. First, you are not alone. And second, you can carry joy and grief together. You are not alone. There will be other people who share your pain. You are not the only one going through the...

by Eleanor Haleyhttps://whatsyourgrief.com It’s common to feel anxious and intimidated in the “grief support” role. This is one of the reasons why otherwise caring people sometimes say hurtful, minimizing, or unhelpful things to their bereaved loved ones and why they sometimes avoid their grieving friends and family members altogether.  Hopefully, if nothing else, all of you reading this after Googling “how to support a grieving friend” will take solace knowing your fear is normal and (likely) not indicative of a personal problem. Last month...

by Bianca Neumannhttps://www.sueryder.org/blog/what-to-write-bereavement-card When I returned from Germany after my mother had died in very difficult circumstances, I came back to my life here in the UK which seemed like nothing had changed. My house looked the same, it smelled the same, it was a Sunday and I was due to get back to work on the Monday. Business as usual, like those things I experienced and felt while in Germany with my mum had not arrived here yet. Then, on...

By Alan D. Wolfelt, PhD Freedom #1: You have the freedom to realize your grief is unique. Othersmay grieve in different ways than you because your experience will be influenced by a variety of factors, including the relationship you had with the person who died, the circumstances of the death (whether it was sudden or expected), and your cultural and religious background. It is important not to compare oneself with others who are grieving, and to consider the “one day...

by Nancy Bernshttp://www.nancyberns.com All too frequently I am shoving something in a cupboard only to have trouble closing the door.    I buy groceries and not everything fits on the shelves.   I try to put shampoo bottles in the bathroom cabinet and other things fall over. “This is ridiculous,” I say to myself.  It is ridiculous because I know there should be plenty of room to fit what I am currently using.    So what is the problem? The problem is that...

by Tim Nelsonhttp://fathersgrievinginfantloss.blogspot.com   After losing a baby, Father's Day can be one of those days that you face with mixed emotions. No matter what your circumstances are or how many living children you might have, it often is a day to stop and wonder what might have been.For those of you with recent losses, I can tell you that I believe this days does get easier over time. Not because you forget, but because you heal. Healing is obviously...